Dealing with the unexpected: 7 financial steps to take after the death of a spouse or loved one

Brenda Pickens’ life changed dramatically this past spring, when her 63-year-old husband, Howard, died from Covid-19 complications. 

His death, which occurred a month after the couple’s 28th wedding anniversary, was something they never really planned for. 

“We didn’t think either one of us would be alone so early in our lives,” said Pickens, 62, who also contracted the virus and spent months recovering. 

With only a small life insurance policy payout and some retirement savings, she contemplated selling her home in Waveland, Mississippi, and her husband’s barbershop, Fade 1, in nearby Bay St. Louis. Pickens was also furloughed from her job at a naval base barbershop. 

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These days, she’s seen some temporary financial relief, including a grant from the state of Mississippi that will keep the barbershop running for about six months. However, Pickens is now battling new health concerns. Since contracting the coronavirus, she has developed heart issues and is seeing a number of specialists. 

Fortunately, she has good insurance and is receiving paid time off from her job while on medical leave.

“I’m trying to hang in there, but if push comes to shove, I’ll file for disability,” she said. 

While she has a support system, she is still grieving the loss of her husband. 

“It still gets kind of lonely,” Pickens said. “He was my best friend.”

However financially prepared, or unprepared, you may be, losing a loved one is overwhelming. Not only are you dealing with grief, but there are financial decisions that must also be made. Here are seven steps you can take to help ease the transition.

“It might be tempting to make a lot of decisions all at once,” said certified financial planner Stacy Francis, president and CEO of Francis Financial in New York and a member of the CNBC Financial Advisor Council.

That may mean moving to a new place, selling a house, going right back to work and taking a new job.

Her advice: Don’t do it.

“Give yourself a little bit of a pause so that you have time to allow yourself to start the grief process and that you give yourself time to navigate this new normal for yourself,” she said.

“When you have been through trauma, it is very hard to think clearly.”

Finding professional support — through, for example, a grief counselor or therapist — can help you navigate the mourning process. A financial expert, meanwhile, can help you through money issues concerning insurance, wills, debt and the like.

“Put yourself on a path of not only recovery, but to eventually be able to rebound,” said Francis, who specializes in working with widows and widowers and is a certified grief recovery specialist in The Grief Recovery Method approach.

Once you are ready, you can review your finances and reset.

The first thing to do when it comes to finances is to take a look at what money is coming in and how that may have changed since your loss.

You may be facing lower income without your spouse’s salary, or you may have some additional funds through a life insurance payout or inheritance.

If you have children under age 18, be sure to apply for spousal survivor benefits from Social Security, Francis said. Also, make sure you are collecting any life insurance money you may be entitled to, so reach out to your loved one’s employer to see if there was coverage, as well as any private insurers.  

Another potential source of money may come from any unclaimed funds. Do a search on your state’s online unclaimed funds site for both you and your loved one.

The coronavirus pandemic has already hit people’s expenses. Losing a spouse will add to that.

You may need extra childcare or therapy sessions. On the other hand, you may see a decrease in some expenses, like a payment for a second car.

List everything and compare it to what you have coming in and see what needs to be adjusted.

If you have outstanding credit card bills, check with your creditor. Many are already offering programs, like payment deferments or a reduction in interest rate, to help people get through the pandemic.  

If you are left with high medical bills in the wake of your loved one’s death, talk to a medical billing and health insurance expert, Francis advises.

That can help you truly understand if these are bills you need to pay or if your health insurance wasn’t billed properly, with the proper medical coding.

“We’ve also seen some individuals be able to negotiate with their health insurance,” she said. “They just want to get paid.

“The last thing they want to do is have you declare bankruptcy.”

Get an understanding of what your finances look like now.

That includes retirement and brokerage accounts, your home’s value, your mortgage and any other loans you may have.

Taken together with your expenses and cash flow, it will help you form a plan for your near-term and long-term future and could impact college, retirement and the rest of your life, Francis said.

If you lost your spouse and have children, appoint guardians as soon as possible, even if you aren’t ready to take a look at your overall will and estate plan, said New York-based estate-planning attorney Robert Steele.

When things settle down, you can then update your will and beneficiaries on any retirement plans or insurance policies.

“Your will, your estate plan is going to most likely need to change, especially if you have younger children,” Steele said.

That includes creating a trust for your kids if they are young, so they don’t receive the money outright, and naming a trustee to oversee it.

Additionally, if you lost your spouse, he or she was likely your health-care proxy and had power of attorney. You’ll have to choose another person “who you trust and value,” Francis said.

In the end, coming up with an overall plan will help you move forward both emotionally and financially.

“While it might be frightening and scary to look at all of this, it is really important to see where you are and to then, once you have all of that information, start to create that new road map for your family,” Francis said.

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